I AM A VERY BUSY SCIENTIST

• Question: I ATE ALL THE FOOD IN YOUR HOUSE MAWHAHA! >=D - Anonymous
• Answer:

  >:(

• Question: hey professor it's your assistant. i'll be out for the week on mourning-leave and was told to inform you. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  WAIT BUT THERE’S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE

• Question: *sigh* My appologies, professor. I lost myself for a moment. SO, anyway, how have your latest experaments been progressing? Well, I should hope. - invader-bean
• Answer:

  All experiments are stable and progressing steadily. And there have been no workplace casualties in over 2 months!

• Question: what is the meaning of life - Anonymous
• Answer:

  Life is a random event with no documented purpose, silly little girl!

• Question: DOGS CANNOT GIVE CONSENT. ONLY LEMURS. HOW COULD YOU? You're almost as bad as Santa... ;.; - invader-bean
• Answer:

  DON’T YOU DARE EVER COMPARE ME TO SANTA YOU WENCH

• Question: PROFESSOR! HAVE YOU BEEN CREATING EXPLODING PUPPIES AGAIN!? - invader-bean
• Answer:

  THEY AREN’T PUPPIES; THEY ARE FULL-GROWN, CONSENTING DOGS.

• Question: Hey, Dad, can you help me? There's a girl stuck in my window. - dib1
• Answer:

  Dib, is this a euphemism?

• Question: Can I have a bunny Daddy? :3 - Anonymous
• Answer:

  MY ASK BOX IS FOR SCIENTIFIC INQUIRIES PLEASE GO AWAY

RUMORS GOING AROUND THAT THE TESTS I RUN ARE NIGHTMARISH AND INHUMANE ARE BASELESS AND COMPLETELY INANE. FOR THE MOST PART.

dib1:

theprofessormembrane:

Hi Professor, Dib is home from Scotland :)

He was teleported by a Magic!Anon

Dib was in Scotland? Oh, that boy…

Uh, Dad, I told you I was going. And I contacted you a bunch of times while I was there.

Oh, yes! I was completely aware that you were out of the country. Ha.